As a girl, I thought there was always this fairytale kind of magic about being pregnant. There is just something about having a growing person inside of you, the glow that comes with being pregnant, and the attention that people give you. Unfortunately, there are some things that just conveniently were omitted in these fairytales. I've decided to help you out and make a list of some of these untold truths about being pregnant. I'm going to apologize ahead of time. I originally began writing this when I was still pregnant, so if some of them make it seem like I'm still pregnant just know that I'm not. I tried to correct them, but I think I kept reading the same ones over and over again and got side tracked.
No One Tells You About the Cramps
It's true. During the first trimester (at least), there's some cramping involved. I had some serious ones that made me think I was fixing to start my period resulting in me freaking out and going to the bathroom to check at every sign of these cramps. I will admit that since my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and felt as if I was starting my period but worse, I was very paranoid that I was fixing to have another miscarriage. I would have these severe cramps where I wouldn't (and couldn't) move from my spot unless it was to curl up in a tiny ball in the corner of the room saying "kill me now" while rocking back and forth like a psychopath. It was not a pleasant feeling in the least. The good news is that this doesn't occur through out the entire pregnancy for most women (and it fortunately stopped for me once I was in my eleventh week). There are unfortunately the very, very, VERY few women who have to suffer through more or all of the pregnancy. However, no matter how severe the pain, try to stay away from medicines. My doctor told me it was okay for me to take Tylenol. No matter what I might say that I took for medication, ASK YOUR DOCTOR FIRST! What might be alright for me to take might not be right for you to take. If your doctor says you can't take medication, a nice warm, but not hot, heating pad works just fine. I would suggest taking a nice hot bubble bath, but I was told that the water couldn't be over 100 degrees and to not use scented stuff for long periods of time (like bubble bath juice). Unfortunately, all of my bubble bath stuff is scented and I can't find any that's not and I don't have a thermometer to check the water. My mom kept telling me to put some water on my wrist and if I can't feel it, then I'm good, but to me, that's no use when I looking for warmth to soothe me.
No One Tells You About the Questions
"When are you due?", "Do you know the gender?", "Are you going to breastfeed?", "Have you picked out any names?", "What are you hoping for?", "Are you going to post belly pictures on Facebook?", "Are you going to find out the gender?", "Are you going to tell everyone what the gender is?", "How are you feeling?", "Do you have any cravings yet? What are you craving?", "Have you registered yet?" "Where are you having the baby?", "Have you gotten an ultrasound done yet?" and the popular "What are your plans for ___ [fill in with holiday, weekend, month, after baby's born, etc.]?" were thrown at me and I know I'm not the only one. It wouldn't be as bad if every person asked me the same question through phone, text, email, or person. It was horrible when the same person would ask the same question multiple times. I pretty much came to the resolution to just ignore the questions and if I can't ignore them, just come up with a smart ass reply (impolite, I know, but I can only take so much stupid before I snap). Facebook was the place where I got bombarded by the same questions over and over -- on the same post -- when I've already answered the question -- three times -- then someone asks again. It just gets annoying. The fact that some people were asking me what my plans were for my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and anywhere from the day after the baby is born through the entire first month, and wanted me to come see them just drove me up the walls and (I'll willingly admit) made me think they were inconsiderate when they were upset when I told them my plans. "I'm staying home for my birthday, staying home for Thanksgiving, I can't go anywhere for Christmas, and I'm more than likely not leaving this house for a few months after the baby's born. If you're so desperate to see me (and baby), then you can come to me. I'm not making fifteen billion trips just to see everyone that wants to see me. I will make a few exceptions (like my dad who is a school bus driver and might not be able to get the time off to come see us because I'm due during school) but it won't be because feelings got hurt when I said 'Nope. I'm not coming to see you.'" I had to tell several people that. It just got way out of hand.
No One Tells You About the Diet Changes
When I say "diet changes", I mean diet changes! No soft cheeses, no deli meats (unless cooked until it's steaming), no raw/undercooked meat (that means no sushi -- period!), must thoroughly wash any fruits or vegetables, if it was meant to be served hot, you must eat it hot (that means no cold pizza for breakfast), little to no fish, no food heated in plastic, no (what I call) long-lasting food (like lunchables, ramen, yakisoba, TV dinners, you get the gist), limit caffeine intake, and (the one that kills me every time I bake) no cake batter because of the raw eggs. A healthy eating person might think "Psh! I can do it!" but let me tell you this: I ate relatively healthy (a lot of fruits and vegetables) before I was even pregnant, rarely (if ever) drank soda, and wasn't a big fan of junk food, but once I was pregnant, just about any and everything I couldn't have I started to crave. Some things just killed me when I was told that I couldn't have it. I'm in love with sushi and the doc said the only possible way to have it is if I make it with cooked meat and since I can't have under cooked meat (meat not cooked to 170) I can't eat steak the way I like it (medium rare, yummy). I liked to eat ramen whenever I was hungry but not hungry enough to eat a full meal so that sucked. Since I'm from the south, sweet tea runs through my veins, but I didn't mind cutting back on it as long as I was able to have a nice hot cup of my favorite tea at the end of the day.
No One Tells You About Always Being Tired
This one is one that you would figure people would think to tell you about, but they don't. There's just something about a baby growing in you that makes you tired. Sleep becomes a very precious thing even before the baby gets here. So, note to husbands: let a sleeping pregnant woman be. Don't touch her, don't try to talk to her, and the only time when you should attempt to wake her up is if she is on fire and doesn't know it. If that's the case, first check and see if she's feeling too hot, if she is, don't wake her up yet. Just go and get a bucket of water to throw on her. The water will wake her up and cool her off. Make sure to be prepared to run. Any other situation though, don't wake her up. It would be the equivalent of waking up a mother bear while you're holding one of her cubs by the tail and the other dipped in honey with Eau De Fish poured on top. If you don't know what that's like, the here's some tips: (1) Run, (2) Run fast, (3) If you brought anyone with you, make sure to run faster than them, (4) Throw "The Pillow" (you'll find out what that is in a little bit) to her, (5) Offer her the food she's been craving the most...and then some, oh, and (6) Run. Oh, and don't trip. You've seen horror movies. You trip, you die.
No One Tells You About "The Pillow"
When I say "The Pillow", I don't many just any pillow. I mean the pillow. It is a gift sent down from heaven to pregnant women everywhere. It brings comfort and sleep when you need it most. I'm talking about the pregnancy pillow, baby. It can be an actual pregnancy pillow or (in my case) a body pillow. Either way, it is lavishing. Back hurt? Put the pillow behind you and lean into it. Hips hurt? Put it between your legs. Sides hurt? Put it in the curve of your side and lay on it. Need a cuddle buddy? Just wrap it up in your arms and get comfy! The Pillow is amazing! There are all sorts of pregnancy pillows. There's the kind where it's just long enough to cradle your back. There's the kind that's long enough to cradle your back and put between your legs. There's the kind that long enough to cradle your back, put between your legs, and rest your growing belly on. Then, there's the one that just surrounds you with pillow! Oh, and there's the body-pillow-as-a-pregnancy-pillow one. I couldn't go a single night without having The Pillow. I had it as my actual pillow then wrapped it around my back then put what's left between my legs. AMAZING! Why people never mention it prior to pregnancy? I'll never know. I have only found one down side to the all amazing pillow: my husband was jealous. I'm the most comfortable on my right side when going to sleep, meaning my back is to him...and so is The Pillow. When he wanted to cuddle with me, he couldn't. There's a pillow in the way. When I did lay on my left side, I was hugging The Pillow, so he still couldn't cuddle with me. As he put it "The Pillow gets more attention than I do! You turned The Pillow into your bitch!" I didn't know what he was talking about until I watched "The Back Up Plan" with Jennifer Lopez. I couldn't help but to laugh because the guys in it pretty much said the same thing my husband said. When the scene came when the guy threw her pillow into the dumpster, I looked at my husband and said "If you dare do that to The Pillow, you're jumping in and getting it out. If you don't do that, then you're going to buy me a new one. If you don't do that, I'm going to buy the full-body pillow!" I showed him a picture and he tucked his tail between his legs. Before we even watched that movie, he's tried to hide The Pillow from me. I always found it though. (MUHWHAHAHA!) Anyways, in my personal opinion, no pregnant woman should go without The Pillow.
No One Tells You About the Unwanted Advice You'll Receive
From the second I announced I was pregnant, I was getting unwanted pregnancy advice. Most of it was just the same stuff over and over again. There was this one time when I had gone grocery shopping with my grandmother. She brings this insulated bag for her cold stuff and all that was in it was two gallons of milk and a tub of ice cream. I picked it up out of the cart to put in the truck (keep in mind it was with both hands) and she started to flip saying that I shouldn't be carrying anything that heavy. Seriously? I know my limits on weight! There's no reason to flip out! Then there was when I was coming back from Georgia. I always bring a backpack for my carryon. My step dad went nuts with picking it up with everything I put in and saying "Don't put too much in that. You shouldn't even be carrying a backpack." Once again, I know my limits! Once I announced on Facebook that I was pregnant, I had comments of "Be sure to eat right", "Make sure to exercise", "Make sure to go to the doctor", "Drink a lot of water", "Don't push yourself too hard", "Buy a lot of diapers now so you'll have them later", "Don't bother with a gate until the baby can crawl", "You'll need to get this", "Don't bother getting that", all stuff that I already know or don't need to know. I mean, who's to tell me that I'm not going to need to get a bottle sterilizer (I've had people tell me that)? I don't drink the tap water here (mainly because we've had problems in the past with the plumbing and I think it tastes nasty) unless it's been boiled. Why would I trust the water to rid of the bacteria off of my baby's bottles if I don't even trust it enough to drink myself? Since we don't have a dishwasher to help steam the bottles, I think a sterilizer would be a necessity. There's also been people to tell me that I simply HAVE to get a wipe warmer. What's the point? You get the same effect by placing the wipe in between your hands and not have to worry about them drying out either. I've pretty much gained the mentality of "If I ask for your advice, give it to me. Otherwise, shut up!" That might be rude to some, but I can only be polite for so long before I just snap (and like I said before, I can only take so much stupid).
No One Tells You When to Start Shopping
This actually has no right answer, but when you and your SO have two different ideas on when to start shopping, things can get a little hairy. I wanted to start right after I hit the half-way mark, but my husband wanted to wait until the last minute (or at least that's how it felt to me.) I had been trying to seek advice online about when is best, just to come across the same thing: "When you're ready to start, start" with the exception of one person saying "You can wait on everything until the baby is born" (uh, what?! Nuh-uh! I couldn't do that! I like being prepared!) Much help that has been for me. At one time, I was trying to slide my dear hubby into buy a crib. Just a crib (and maybe the mattress too, depending on the price and if it came with the crib). Boy, I was trying. I found this crib online that I REALLY liked for $200 and the day after I found it was when the store was starting their layaway plan. I coaxed DH into going to the store to try to put it on layaway. Once we got there, we found out that the store didn't have the crib meaning we couldn't put it on layaway (shucks). Husband thought that was going to be the end of crib-hunting (boy was he wrong). The next day, I was on Craigslist and Bookoo searching for a crib. Any crib. One that we can just call up and say "Hey, I want that." I succeeded in finding seven cribs that were in the running. I sent a picture of the first one to my husband with "Please?". He must have given in some and emailed the person, but by the time he got home, the crib had already been sold (strike two!). So, with me being me, I didn't give up yet. While he was watching TV, I was online and just so happen to "come across" those other six cribs. With each one, I turned the computer around with a remark of "there's this one," "what about this one," or "this one looks nice." I was shot down with each one with "mhm," "okay," "that one's got scratches all over it," "that's too much," "yeah," and a simple nod without even looking at the screen (strike three! You're--). No, no, no. I was NOT going down that easily. I gave him a break from cribs for two days before I planned on striking again. This time, I found a crib just like the one I wanted from that store...for $125! I started to do a little dance thinking that he was going to be all for it! I snapped a picture and sent it to him. He replied with "where is it?" "Oceanside" (!), "How much is it?" I've almost got him! "125" then...nothing. I waited almost thirty minutes for him to reply with "We don't have it right now. Let's wait, okay? We can shop around." My plane was shot down by the Red Baron. I surrendered to the Axis Powers and was taken as a prisoner. I was put on a crib-hunting hiatus while worrying about whether or not I was going to survive the wait to be released and the war to turn. While I'm in here, I must make every second and move count. So, my advice to you, negotiate an agreement on when to start shopping before you get the urge to get stuff so that way you know you're not waiting until the last minute.
UPDATE: So, yeah. My hiatus only lasted for a week before I once again started to attack him. Fortunately, though, this time, it only took one time. I found a nice crib, changer, AND mattress for only $60. Showed him a picture, and BAM! I finally not only had him on the hook, but I also reeled him in and brought that sucker to the surface to show off the fruits of my patience...or lack there of.
No One Tells You About "Leaky Boob Syndrome"
Ok. So, maybe Leaky Boob Syndrome (a.k.a. LBS) isn't a real medical term, but it at least adds some comical relief to the unfortunate, yucky, and annoying time when your breasts start to leak colostrum. It's like your first period for your boobs. You never know when it's going to first happen and after the first time, there's no telling when it will strike again. More than likely, the first time, it'll leak through your bra and shirt leaving embarrassing spots for all to see, resulting in the paranoia of wearing pads to keep it from happening again. For me, there was at least a brighter side to LBS: it first happened to me in my sleep. I just woke up one morning, went to the bathroom, caught a glimpse of me in the mirror and noticed "wet" spots on my shirt ("wet" because they were actually dry but still looked wet). I was confused as to what it was and first thought it was drool until I noticed that my bra was making me itch. I look inside to see flaky, yellowish stuff dried onto my bra...right where my nipples stay. When I saw that, I knew instantly that I had LBS. While I got lucky with my first LBS strike happening while I slept, the next time I wasn't as lucky. About a week had passed since my first mishaps and I was getting a little too confident that it was just a one time thing. I was just laying in bed, on my phone, scouring the wonderful world of Pinterest for interesting stuff, lulling myself to sleep. My hair had fallen into my face so I swiped it away with the back of my hand. When I did, I noticed that my hand was wet. First thought "wow, I'm sweating a lot", realized that I wasn't sweating leading to my second thought of "did I drool", felt my mouth and it was dry, making me sit up and look for the source. That's when I noticed that the back of my hand had yellowish, watery, milky junk on it. EWWW!!! I had leaked through my bra, through my shirt, and had enough to start pooling on the back of my hand. Since then, I've noticed that my LBS only strikes at night so I just sleep with a washcloth in my bra to catch it all. I know that there are pads that you can buy that are specially made for LBS, but when your boobs are still growing to the point that one of them is too big to fit in the bra and likes to make a little appearance at the party on a regular basis, pads just don't work. I tried using tissue and stuffing my bra like a middle school girl, but once again, with one of my girls wanting attention, it doesn't work out too well. The washcloth was the way to go for me. Just fold it in half, then fold it hot-dog style, then just put one end in one cup and the other end in the other, and I was set where even if my immodest friend attacked, I'd still be covered.
No One Tells You About "Snot-gina"
Ah, yes. The lovely thing that I like to call "Snot-gina". It might sound like a joke, but it seriously seems like your lady parts are constantly suffering through a runny nose. While it might be common, those who do not suffer from this excessive discharge should consider themselves lucky. CAUTION: TMI might occur past this point. If you do not want to risk having to get this information, just skip down to the all caps section. If you don't care, then just consider yourself warned! Anyways, before being pregnant, I already had quite a bit of discharge. Now, it seems like if I sneeze, my whoo-hoo sneezes too. When I get up in the mornings, I have to rush to the bathroom to let the snot-dam relieve itself of the pressure that was built up over the night. If I plan on wearing leggings, stockings, yoga pants, a dress or anything else that is made out of a thin material or nothing in the crotch region, I have to make sure to wear a pad and bring extras with me because the one I'm currently wearing will start to get a pool of snot after just an hour and a half. If my hubby wants be to come to bed without any clothes on, I have to tell his "Sorry, Charlie" because I know that if I don't wear underwear to bed, then I'll wake up with snot all over me and have to wash the sheets. On top of that, I have to wear that bra incase I suffer from LBS sometime during the night. CLEAR OF TMI! While it might seem to be pretty bad at the beginning of pregnancy, it will get worse. Once that third trimester comes, it just gets so much worse. Unfortunately, there isn't anything (that I know of) that can keep this stuff from happening. The only advice that I can give to make it at least manageable, (1) wear a pad, (2) change underwear often (as in one or two times a day, if not more), and (3) if it comes to it, go to the bathroom to "blow your nose" when you feel the "sneeze" coming.
No One Tells You What You Need in Your Hospital Bag
There are tons and tons of lists out there about what to pack in your hospital bag. The truth is, most of the stuff you pack will not even be touched. As tempting as it might be to pack cutesy stuff for you to wear, don't even bother. Odds are that you'll be in an "I could care less about what I look like" kind of mood. With that, nix the make-up too. Dare I even say to nix the cute baby clothes? Not quite. I say bring two or three outfits for pictures. That's it. Don't bring an entire wardrobe. You might be thinking "But I want to dress my baby up in all of these cute outfits!" Just take my word for it. Forget all of the toiletries. All you'll need is some baby wash (you and baby can both use this), toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, and (if you prefer your own compared to the hospital's) ooberly absorbent pads, I mean the kind that could almost absorb the ocean. There's going to be quite a bit of blood that even the heaviest of periods couldn't prepare you for. If you easily get cold feet, bring some nice, warm socks to wear. Something to put your hair up would be useful, too.
Later into the 30 Blog Challenge, I'll do a post specifically for this section. I'll go into more detail in that post, but for now, I'll just keep this nice, short, and simple.
I'm sure that there's some more things that no one tells you about pregnancy, but for now, this is all I have. If there's anything that you can think of for me to add, feel free to tell me. You can also feel free to share your experiences of any of the above. I won't judge.
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